In Response

"In Response" is a piece that I had written some time ago with this week's same prompt in mind. For those who'd like to hear, I've included a video of the poem. As always, however, the text is also provided! The poem to which I'm responding I came across at a library's teen poetry publication. I'll post the text up with the idea that it is protected under a creative commons license, but if it is not and I am notified of such, I will remove the text immediately.

NOTE: You may want to read the piece to which I was responding first; therefore, it can be found at the bottom of this post.

In Response

You asked me to understand. To just

Please

           Understand. But

I can't.

You handed me your hand

written note and called it poetry.

You wrote about how, once upon a time,

you grew up under the auspices

of a stiff spine and hard head,

until somewhere along the way,

you ran into something tougher

than your brain or back could bear

and it snapped.

Suddenly, the stiffness of your spine left you with little to brace back on, so you

Crumpled  

like a poem that wasn't written right.

You asked me to understand. To just

Please understand, but I can't

         comprehend

                             the solace you've sought in statistics.

People are more than numbers, and you

are more than lines, and I know that's hard

to remember when other people only gloss across the stories that are

written in your hands that are

held in your heart that are

seen in your eyes and that are

carved in your arms. And I know this

because I once etched seven lines of ugly poetry into my skin

hoping that someday someone would notice something

besides shame written in them. Shame

like the same you feel your life has taken.

And you asked me to just,

       Please,

               Understand,

And I want, but I can't

Because you say that you're insane

for inhaling this pain and screaming

Back with no one to hear, and you say

that your lungs feel like wasted space like they

keep taking

and taking and

taking while

no one leaves words to

let you know that they understand, but

they do.

And we can't help but wonder if you've

held your breath

in place of that razor.

If you've ever held your breath until your lungs

understood what it felt like to miss something they knew so long, so

I don't understand how you can't see that

your presence is like air to someone's lungs!

Without you, someone out there will inhale nothingness

and scream back the air they wished you'd remembered

to breathe.

You asked me to understand.

To just

    Please

         Understand, but

I can't understand

How you can't see

that all these words I've spoken are true because

these words that I have, they're for you.

The poem to which I was responding:

Sweet Release
Gabriella C.

And the story of my life, was once I was clean,
I was pure, life was serene,
But I hit a wall, the wall called life,
And I grew up once upon a time,

My backbone grew stiff,
And my head grew hard,
But yet I was so weak,
so insecure,

When you think I am sober, I am drunk,
When you think I'm sleeping, I am still up,
With a box cutter to my wrist, and a tear running slow,
When I'll stop this cycle? No one knows.

I'm just another statistic,
And I chose this path,
But I'm afraid this cut,
Might end up being my last,

I hurt no one purposely,
Yet my life is a shame,
I thought I was good,
But now I'm insane,

They say insanity is doing something over again,
hoping for the outcome to be different in the end,
So am I lost?
In my mind so alone,
Or am I screaming for help,
But no one is home,

I once was a girl,
With hopes and dreams,
Now I'm a disgrace,
Not wanting to be seen,

I say I live, day by day,
But the truth is, I've lost track of time,
And these days are just moments,
Moments intertwined,

Moments that blend,
One day they will mend,
And on that day it will not matter,
Because of how reckless I have been,

I'll lie in peace,
All hopes and dreams gone,
With eyes so empty,
And skin so cold,

So please just remember,
I wasn't always this way.
When you stand over my casket,
With no words to say,

I lived with a heart full of love,
Love I shared with you,
But my mind got a hold of me,
And these words I say are true,

So I ask for forgiveness,
While I still can,
Don't cry, I'm not worth it,
Just please, understand.