Love and Martial Arts

A very good friend of mine was recently married to the love of his life.  I'm incredibly happy to have known him as a person and to have trained with him when he was younger as a martial artist.

I went to his reception but being quite... unable to afford a gift, I decided to write a poem for my friend.  Because, as another poet once said, "Being a poet around wedding time is like being the guy with the truck around moving time."

While the inside jokes may not be understood by all, I hope that anyone reading it is able to take something from it.




Hey Nate,
Do you remember martial arts? Demonstration team, training,
the minutes, moments, years, bruises and tears? I do. Almost
like it was yesterday. There's still a spot on my left leg
tender from the day we threw well over 1,000 kicks.
Remember how that following weekend we
all hung out as a team and competed to tell about which
one of us had it hardest to wake up and walk stairs that morning?
We decided it'd be fun to then hit each other's legs and say,
"Did you know that your eyes..."
And we grew to despise the question that followed, but that
is another story.
Remember when we'd blame you for everything?
The weather? Your fault.
That time I accidentally broke David's sister's foot?
Your fault. When
someone fell? Your fault.
When we performed a kata
wrong? Your fault.
See, but we knew your smile was strong enough to bear it.
And your arms? Well, they are still a little weak, but
your heart is strong enough to lift people's spirits, and I'm happy to have
been able to train alongside that strength even back in the day.

Now, years later, it's almost hard to believe that
we've gone our separate ways, but you've stayed you; you've
stayed with that strong smile and heart hardy enough to lift
your wife's spirits.

See, being a poet, I know the weight the world takes, and sometimes it seems that
it's all too much to carry until the corners of our lips collapse
into a frown. But you - you have the strength to keep your
smile shining, and not only that, you have that same strength to
sustain your wife's smile, and it's beautiful.

But don't forget where you come from, though I know you won't.
Don't forget the playful side when you're enmeshed in matrimony.
Sometimes, relationships can be difficult, but I think you should approach
your marriage as you did those fight scenes in which we used to be.
This is not to mean that you should punch it, but I mean you
should approach it with the same excitement and energy and patience that
you would apply to all of our practices. And, yes, some days,
it will feel like it did back in the day, back in the dojo.
This is to say you will be blamed for things like
the dishes.
Like the laundry.
Like the weather. Like
when she smiles so
brightly it rivals the sun, like when
the moments are so beautiful
between you two that you almost lose focus, but don't!
Because love
is like martial arts:

It is a way of life;
you can train in it
for eternity without every mastering its subtle graces; and occasionally,
it hurts. Occasionally,
it will be like back in the day, back
in the dojo like when we ran many minutes straight and
if anyone fell or stopped mid stride, the time would extend, and after 5 we
weren't sure if we could go on... but then - then we learned
that the burden could be shared. Love - love is like that. Love is
a marathon where we pick each other up and run because
we're not sure when time will run out.

Yet even when we ran, you had
the strength of spirit to keep your smile shining bright, and it,
like the life I know you and your wife will share,
is beautiful.